I'm pretty much set in my ways when it comes to these modern Horror remakes. Not to sound narrow minded, but when I hear about a remake in the works, especially when it's of a beloved 70's or 80's classic, I almost always automatically dislike it. Can you really blame me after such shit as the Platinum Dunes flicks? Not to mention the absolutely abysmal garbage from the last year or two, like Martyrs and Cabin Fever. I'm still shocked those even exist. But even me, with my narrow mind and everything, can admit when a Horror movie is good. Even a post-2000 remake. Today, I'm going to say a few words about my favorite one. Or really, the only one I consider to be any good. A remake of a movie https://trashepics.com/post/9/51/ I wasn't THAT impressed by to begin with, to be perfectly honest. This is I Spit On Your Grave: The remake!

It's significantly slicker, with cgied, Saw-esque gore. But even aside from my "take it or leave it" attitude towards the original, something about this one makes me want to give it a break, and just enjoy it for what it is. Let's find out why, shall we? Well, things start out similar enough. Hot writer chick from the city takes a vacation in the country to write a new novel in an isolated cabin. On the way, she stops for gas, already getting looks from local rednecks, while the more confident one makes a pass, and makes quite the fool of himself, as the condescending Jennifer does his now damaged ego no favors. Now leaving the most macho of the group open to ridicule from the others.

I like this Jennifer. she's a pot head, she jogs, but is kind of clumsy, which is cute. This Jennifer has an attitude. But not to the point of being annoying like Emilia Clarke from Terminator Genisys. After Clumsy Jennifer drops her phone in the toilet, she realizes it doesn't work, and gets the local retard on it asap. After saving the day, Jennifer pays him with a kiss, which shakes him up, being the retard that he is. Later, Matthew and the redneck crew, who, I guess he's apart of, discuss the nearby city poon as the leader is noticeably angered by Matthew's bragging. This leads to testosterone-fueled shit talking, and one thing leads to another, and before we know it, a raping is being planned out.

As the rednecks drag Matthew along, it first seems like they've broke in Jennifer's cabin to simply pick on her and push her around, but we know better, and so does she. Jennifer gets away, and luckily runs into the sheriff. Looks like the day has been saved early, this time. That was a close one. As Jennifer takes the sheriff back to the cabin to explain what just happened, he seems more interested in the half-smoked joint he just found than what she's telling him. He acts all serious as if it was an 8-ball, or something, but soon makes his intentions clear. Intentions clearly involving rape! As Sheriff is joined by the rest of the crew, it finally hits us. This time, the fucking sheriff is in on it! And not only that, but HE is the leader of this pack. Unfortunate for Jennifer, as this is one sadistic, slimy little bastard. And he has his sights set on an ass raping.

So, the ass rape happens, as well as plenty of traditional rapings leading up to it. Even Matthew gets in on it, popping his tard-cherry, which sends him into some sort of rage, causing him to attack Jennifer, which was unexpected. The plan was to kill Jennifer to cover their tracks, but she manages to disappear after jumping off a bridge, into the river. Time to start panicking! Sheriff gets nervous, which makes the others nervous. We take it these guys are scared of him, as they quickly do whatever he says, spending the next few weeks looking for a body, but never finding one. The raping was also recorded, and naturally, the tape is missing. Rednecks continue to panic. But soon, they will really have something to panic about, as Jennifer prepares for gruesome revenge.

One difference I noticed about this, and it's quite typical of the times, is that less emphasis is put on the rapings and more on the revenge scenes, which are all very much worth cringing over. Pretty creative stuff they came up with, here. I guess it's good they didn't try to outdo the 22 minute rape from the original. I assume this takes place in the south, as there are attempts by the actors at southern accents. Things like that make all the difference, as Connecticut rednecks just never pack quite the punch.

The modern remake trend of revealing a bigger picture was actually a nice touch, as there's no denying the sheriff being involved does make this situation all the more intimidating. Oh, and I mustn't forget the new retard. I suppose the original Matthew was funnier and had better chemistry with the original Jennifer, but this guy is far more realistic, and reminds me far less of Woody Allen. I say pretty much everyone was better in their roles compared to the originals. But that's just one man's opinion. Maybe this remake is still a tad too slick for most fans of the old stuff, and maybe it doesn't exactly capture the feel of the first one , but in a sea of terrible remakes, I Spit On Your Grave proves to us that it's never a good idea to judge a movie by it's contemporaries. 7/10

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