I'm sorry, but there are few things in this world that is funnier than a fat person. Not to say they're all funny. Or worth making fun of for that matter. But I think we can all agree that a funny fat person will always be funnier than a funny normal person. It's just the way it is. But for a fat person to intentionally make a successful funny, they first must see the humor in their own girth, and either be okay with it, or do a damn good job pretending. People like John Candy, Chris Farley and Alan from Return To Sleepaway Camp have brought the world many a chuckle with their ability to share their fatness with us. Before those guys came on to the scene, there was a woman named Priscilla Alden who starred in a micro-budget Horror film in the 70's called Criminally Insane. A film that would have ended up quite terrible with her or with out her, but was saved from being completely pointless and probably boring by this wonderful woman who obviously didn't mind being made a spectacle of as long as it made people laugh. And because of her, Criminally Insane is not pointless or boring at all. It's so bad, it's good.

Crazy, fat Ethel done some bad shit, and got put away for a while. She's getting out soon, and is being taken in by her grandmother, but being free, Ethel is not in a good mood. Having to put up with Jew doctors and a normal eating habit has taken its toll on her. And the electro-shock therapy wasn't exactly a picnic either. But now that she's living with her sweet Granny, it's all good. Time to eat! As we watch Ethel eat her breakfast which consists of about 8 eggs, 10 pieces of bacon, and 6 pieces of toast, her grandmother expresses her disapproval. "A woman's gotta watch her figure", says granny. Just a suggestion. Soon thereafter, Ethel is informed that she has no choice but to cool it with the constant eating because there just isn't enough money to maintain her addiction. After trying her best to reason with Ethel, Granny gets stabbed to death by her ornery hog of a granddaughter. Now free to eat anything she wants, Ethel does just that. But soon realizes that her now dead grandmother was on to something about the money thing.

Ethel calls the supermarket and orders some food, with extra ice cream, this time. When delivered, she's informed that it's going to be about 80 bucks. Her reply? "I don't have 80 dollars! I only have $4.50". Much to Ethel's outrage, the delivery boy won't let her keep her precious yum yums without getting paid. So, now that he's dead, Ethel sticks his body up with granny in her room. Seconds later, Ethel's horse-faced whore of a sister shows up, looking for a place to stay, and even offers a little cash for her trouble, even though it's not her house. Rosalie buys the flimsy excuse about Granny being away, and makes herself right at home, bringing around her clients and whatnot. Which doesn't bother Ethel none as long as she has her ice creams, Nilla Wafers and platefuls of baked potatoes to stuff her face with, constantly. Soon, Rosalie's woman beating, wannabe actor boyfriend shows up and joins them, and both soon start complaining about a bad smell coming from granny's room. Ethel refuses to hand over the key so they can go up there and check it out. With no real good excuses coming to mind, the dim-witted whale does the only thing she can do to survive. The rest of the movie consists of Ethel eating, desperately looking for a place to hide the bodies and falling deeper and deeper into the depths of insanity.

Directed by Mick Millard, Criminally Insane is by far the best movie he ever made. I say that only after seeing a small fraction of his filmography, but I stand by my claim. If that wasn't true, I'd probably know it by now. Criminally Insane a movie which was probably never meant to be anything special, as it reeks of deliberate half assness. From the blood that is obviously red paint, to the shitty little score, to the running time that is just under an hour. Milliard didn't even bother sticking any filler in. Criminally Insane gets straight to the point. And for such a movie, that's definitely a good thing. But I'm pretty sure there's also some self aware schlock going on here. which was almost unheard of in 1975. But again, Ethel made this movie what it became. Unlike the boisterous Chris Farley, or the big likeable oaf, John Candy, Ethel's humor is a little more subtle. She's careless and oblivious. A typical fat person with a bad attitude and no will power. she's also pretty delusional on top of it. And not all that bright either. Like a big, overgrown baby who wants her way and knows nothing else, Ethel kills and kills with no thought of the future any time she feels her constant eating is threatened.

I should point out the sequel for anyone who sees this and absolutely must have more Ethel. A little over a decade later, Nick Millard made Criminally Insane 2. A far worse movie in an era where far worse movies were being made in abundance. This sequel was not only shot on video, and not only featured a far slimmer Ethel, but nearly half the movie consisted of flashbacks from the original. Yeah. Real nice. And as for the Death Nurse movies... Well, never mind. Okay, so, we should probably forget about the sequel and pretty much everything else Milliard has ever done, I take it. But as for the original Criminally Insane, it really is a glorious bad movie to behold. And is made far better than it needs to be by a scary looking fat lady who asked one very important question when approached to do a Horror movie in the mid 70's, which solidified her as one of the icons of bad cinema. And that questions is "Why the hell not". 7/10