To put Hausu (House) into words has been my most daunting task to date, because nothing I type will justify the bizarreness of this spiralling descent into strange, epileptic, schizophrenic madness. Another review described it as ''Scooby Doo directed my Mario Bava,'' but that still makes it sound grounded and tame in comparison. However, try to imagine that description as a starting point for understanding Hausu. The characters are hyperactive and cartoonish, hence the Scooby Doo analogy, and the visuals are stunning, dreamlike and colorful just like Bava's, but that doesn't even begin to comprehend the piece of strange that is Hausa. If I had to compare it to anything then it would be Evil Dead 2. That's if Evil Dead 2 was dropping acid, eating magic mushrooms and taking epileptic fits as it happily bludgeoned its victims with pure unadulterated madness. Raimi's classic is a much more coherent affair than Hausu, and a much better movie altogether as it managed to successfully incorporate its madness into a structured, methodical assault on its protagonist. Hausu on the other hand has no qualms about drifting off into hysterical tangents and leading the viewer down all sorts of paths into unhinged, random insanity. And it's just wonderful. Oh so wonderful. This takes the haunted house subgenre to new heights, by using the most random objects you'd find in a home as weapons against its victims, while adding some additional kung-fu, floating heads biting butts and bears cooking noodles. The original story came from the mind of an 11 year old girl, which makes me question her mental stability, yet makes me so happy knowing there was a child out there whose imagination knew no bounds and eventually made it to our screens. Furthermore, Nobuhiko Obayashi displays such unique visual flair and avante garde sensibilities that this has probably become fapping material to people who live their lives in the arthouse. Granted, it does not possess the classy pretentiousness of David Lynch, but there's no denying that Obayashi is a master of the craft, and he's not afraid to be a little silly once in awhile.

The story revolves around Gorgeous who plans to spend summer with her father, only to discover that he has a new flame in his life who wants to be her new mommy. Angered, she writes her aunt who lives in the country to inform her that she'll be visiting her, along with some friends. The aunt is a hermit who lives in a mansion in an abandoned village, waiting for her dead lover to return from the war. However, the aunt isn't who she seems to be, and the house she lives in is haunted... and hungry. One by one, the girls begin to fall prey to the evil house through a series of occurrences that need to be seen to be believed, and even then you probably won't be able to grasp what you just saw. Hausu is without a doubt one of the weirdest and proudly deranged movies you'll ever see in your life, and it does so without ever being profane, sinister or vulgar. We see it all through the eyes of the most innocent, quirky characters you'll ever meet, in a setting akin to a fairytale, as one by one they are consumed by the house, spit out and toyed with through dizzying, spastic bursts of insanity.

Hausu has everything you haven't seen before - killer chandeliers, noodle bears, men arguing over watermelons and bananas, pianos eating people, severed fingers playing said piano as a skeleton dances and much more. It gleefully dismembers its victims and joyously drowns them in rivers of blood, yet somehow never seems mean spirited or horrific. Hausu is a fun movie and always cheerful in a way I've never seen before from a horror film. However, despite its good nature it still manages to feel maniacal and tormenting. It's balls to the walls, joyous insanity, and did I mention that there's a bear who cooks noodles? This was just a cut away scene randomly diverting from the main story. Almost as if they were throwing in the most random nonsense they could think of for the heck of it. There's also watermelons wearing hats and severed heads who like nibbling on the butt cheeks of teenage girls. Personally I can relate to that.

Hausu is probably the most original horror movie I've ever seen, and for that reason alone it's worth watching. It's as original as it is wonderful too, and a treasure that deserves to be uncovered by a wider audience. See this with friends and it'll be an experience nobody will ever be able to taint. Show it to your lover and let it become a benchmark in your relationship. Pump your kids full of narcotics, give them a pen and paper and see if they can come up with something just as wacky, because we need more insane movies like this. This is horror brewed in a witches cauldron and covered in the sugar of a child's imagination. Truly unique and outrageously enjoyable. Seek now.

9/10