Nov '19
In 1984, a few random-ass ingredients crashed into each other. The great Bob Clark directing, Stallone acting/screenwriting/singing, and Dolly Parton and her huge jugs would proudly unite to bring us all a film about what it is to be a cowboy singer.
So a New York business mogul is desperate to bang Jake (Dolly), but she's stuck in a contract with this "villain". If I were him, I'd want to bang her too. Her tits steal every scene that they're in, and her waist is an anomoly. And this guy wants that in his life. An option for a pardon from this contract comes her way, and the stakes seem fair. She has to turn some "average joe" into a bonified country singer in two weeks. If she fails, he keeps her longer. If she wins, she's out. Movies with premises based on bets are always great. They're always the same, too.
After sifting through some neighborhood bums, they opt for the next and most regular New Yorker they can find. A cliche of Italian stupidity. An arrogant guido who'se basically a bum. Nick (Stallone) is a loud mouthed lovable rascal who drives a cab, and his main goals are to fix the cab he totaled, but when he sees Dolly, he also strives to bang her.
Switching gears to Tennessee, Nick and Jake live the country life to learn things the country way. This consists of everyone wearing stupid outfits and learning how to sing and act like a cowboy.
Epic actor Tim Thomerson appears as a scheming former lover of Jake's, because why not? This dude is amazing.
After a few performances throughout, he might be learning a thing or two, but basically, it's all just working up to when they'll fuck. Of course, this movie is only PG, so it can only be inferred. There are a few sexual jokes made toward Dolly, so today's connived standards would likely rank this PG-13. Too bad it wasn't rated R with bonus sex scenes. I'd watch Stallone put it in Dolly, because who wouldn't? But instead, we have a more light-hearted romp. A social mismatch of country music and taxi drivers.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't classify this as a turkey. I think it's a pretty decent movie. I discovered it back in the day when I went to an actual store for Deep Discount. I bought quite a few horror classics online from them, and a few more in that store. And this title was from Anchor Bay, and I figured it would be a disservice to my habit of blind-buying Anchor Bay titles if I didn't get the one with Rambo and Dolly, so I got it, and I don't regret it. But a 3.8 on imdb? It definitely deserves better than that...
So a New York business mogul is desperate to bang Jake (Dolly), but she's stuck in a contract with this "villain". If I were him, I'd want to bang her too. Her tits steal every scene that they're in, and her waist is an anomoly. And this guy wants that in his life. An option for a pardon from this contract comes her way, and the stakes seem fair. She has to turn some "average joe" into a bonified country singer in two weeks. If she fails, he keeps her longer. If she wins, she's out. Movies with premises based on bets are always great. They're always the same, too.
After sifting through some neighborhood bums, they opt for the next and most regular New Yorker they can find. A cliche of Italian stupidity. An arrogant guido who'se basically a bum. Nick (Stallone) is a loud mouthed lovable rascal who drives a cab, and his main goals are to fix the cab he totaled, but when he sees Dolly, he also strives to bang her.
Switching gears to Tennessee, Nick and Jake live the country life to learn things the country way. This consists of everyone wearing stupid outfits and learning how to sing and act like a cowboy.
Epic actor Tim Thomerson appears as a scheming former lover of Jake's, because why not? This dude is amazing.
After a few performances throughout, he might be learning a thing or two, but basically, it's all just working up to when they'll fuck. Of course, this movie is only PG, so it can only be inferred. There are a few sexual jokes made toward Dolly, so today's connived standards would likely rank this PG-13. Too bad it wasn't rated R with bonus sex scenes. I'd watch Stallone put it in Dolly, because who wouldn't? But instead, we have a more light-hearted romp. A social mismatch of country music and taxi drivers.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't classify this as a turkey. I think it's a pretty decent movie. I discovered it back in the day when I went to an actual store for Deep Discount. I bought quite a few horror classics online from them, and a few more in that store. And this title was from Anchor Bay, and I figured it would be a disservice to my habit of blind-buying Anchor Bay titles if I didn't get the one with Rambo and Dolly, so I got it, and I don't regret it. But a 3.8 on imdb? It definitely deserves better than that...
